Why? Why? Why? WHY??
I know. Because of a certain wish fulfillment to meet someone I click with, someone I can have fun with and build a life with.
I feel so cliche. “Build a life”? I have a life. What I don’t have is a steady sex partner whom I love and laugh with, a partner in crime, a man to kill the spiders, someone to hold my shopping bags (actually, I’m fine with holding them myself).
I’m single, in case you didn’t know it. It’s damn hard to meet new people in my city. All of my friends are coupled up, some of those friends are in couples because I set them up, none of my coupled friends have cared to set me up in return (seems there’s a dearth of single, decent, tall, meat-eating men in my parts, go figure). So, I find myself turning to online dating (the dreaded eHarmony, to be exact), and “It’s Just Lunch”, a match-making service where lovely women go through their roster of clients and set up appropriate matches on lunch or drink dates. It’s the more personal version of eHarmony, and also much more expensive.
But with It’s Just Lunch, I feel like I can be a whole lot more specific about the kind of man that turns me on. As in real estate, one cannot underestimate location, location, location. The bulk of my eHarmony matches are from the ‘burbs. I live in the city, in an enclave where Yuppie intersects with welfare derelicts. It’s the antithesis of the ‘burbs and I live there because I love being in a neighborhood. So me… and a guy from the ‘burbs? Our value system seems off from the get-go.
Like my favorite aunt says about relationships, a good match is about “kindred tastes, motives and aspirations.”
This is a long way of saying that I’m apprehensive about today’s BLIND DATE #1. I’m meeting D, an eHarmony match, after work for drinks. He lives in the northern part of the city, which may as well be the ‘burbs.
If I sound negative, it’s because I’ve gone out on several blind dates over the last year and while most of them have been pleasant experiences, I find the whole event rather… bleak and disappointing. I think it’s because I hate contrivances. And maybe because my first eHarmony date was so positive but ultimately led to a break up eight weeks later. But most likely because I met a lovely, charming man while on holiday. We had a short-lived tryst, he lives across the pond and so it goes. Long distance relationships are hard, so very hard. I know from painful experience.
But I digress. This whole exercise is about stretching myself, opening myself up to new experiences and expanding my community. I may click with D, then again I may not. But I’ll learn something and while I do, I’ll be wearing this blouse with trouser jeans, light gold flats and my hair down.
You know, the reason why I’m doing #78 is because living fabulously means going on drink dates and meeting new people, acquiring new fodder for my writing… And if something else comes of it, great. If not…
(I’ll report back tomorrow with a post-date debrief)