In my quest to find a life partner (note to self: find new term!), I thought it would behoove me to stretch out of my comfort zone and do something about it. By that, I mean do more than wishful thinking. So last night I went out on my first of my ten self-imposed blind dates.
Who: D, an eHarmony match
Occupation: MBA, works for a major lending corporation
Attraction factor: Looked good on paper, well-traveled, good education, seemed to have his act together. From his profile photo, I knew he was blond which isn’t usually my type, but looks aren’t everything.
What we did: On my suggestion, we met for drinks at a place in Rosedale, which was roughly a half-way meeting point for both of us, me coming from downtown and him coming from uptown. He impressed me by already grabbing a table on the patio and by being early. I was on time, which is sometimes a remarkable feat for me. He drank raspberry beer (a red flag) and I had merlot, we both ordered salads with blackened chicken.
On the plus side: The conversation was very easy between us considering we were strangers. D was very engaging and able to discuss a myriad of subjects. We had a good back and forth with neither person dominating the conversation. In other words, there was good give and take. He told me about some of his travels, notably a Kenyan safari when he was ten and a trip to Tahiti post 9-11. I told him about my 101 List and he gave me a very creative tip on how I can see the Northern Lights for a fraction of the cost, provided my current gig flies me to our shooting location for one of my episodes. He strikes me as someone who could go somewhere if he puts his mind to it (but he also strikes me as someone who could just as easily become complacent with the status quo).
On the minus side: While I really enjoyed our conversation and it was easy to spend four hours with D, I felt ZERO physical attraction for him. I cannot emphasize this enough. Now, I know a girl has to kiss a lot of toads, but through trial and many errors, I’ve determined that I am the kind of person who MUST feel an initial spark. I felt a platonic, dare I say sisterly affection at most for D, and that ain’t what I’m looking for. He also talked a lot about his ex-girlfriend/current best friend, which is not cool first date etiquette but I didn’t care so much because I kinda knew right away this wasn’t going anywhere romantic for me. I also feel bad about spilling wine on him, but it was an innocent mistake. We were talking about Italy and when I get excited about a topic I love, I tend to talk a lot with my hands. Our politics are slightly incompatible, but not to the point where it’s an actual minus.
Chances I’ll see him again: Meh, not so much. I would love to keep in touch with him because he’s an interesting fellow and would be a great guest at a dinner party, but I’m not interested in pursuing anything other than friendship. Whether that flies for him or not, who knows…
Lesson learned: I’m glad I went on the date because on the drive home I felt better about myself. I realized how cynical I have become over the last year, and while I did ache for the experience I had with my holiday man, I was happy that I’m making an effort to put myself out there. For better or worse. I also realized that I am becoming more and more comfortable in my own skin, and as a result care less about what others think about me and more about what I think of others. It’s a freshing change from my younger years when the opposite was true.
The evening wasn’t a complete waste of time as I initially feared. It was actually quite a good experience.