I had an epiphany tonight in the bathtub while reading the aforementioned “In The Meantime” and it was this:
I have been eating myself silly with self-pity for the last year.
Sure, sure I’ve been working out (except for the month of November when I fell off the fitness wagon completely), but I have also been stuffing my face with chocolate, hot chocolate, popcorn, candy, etc. Usually because I’ve been feeling sorry for myself for 1) feeling fat in the first place, but also for 2) being single — and not so much “being single” but feeling VERY unhappy about being single. Well, closer to the point, I’ve been feeling sorry for myself because I’ve been believing that I’m past my prime (I’m on the other side of 35 ya know), feeling bogged down by work and frustrated by the dating pool, and how I was also feeling thwarted with my career and like I’ve been left with nothing: as in NO personal life and NO big career leap forwards.
So I’m gonna stop stuffing my face because I feel sorry for myself. And I’m going to forgive myself for all the times I used food as a substitute.