I’m still alive. For what that’s worth to the random person who comes across this blog. 🙂
Lots going on and nothing going on. In other words, as the Thai would put it, my life is “same same but different.”
Work is busy.
Men have come and gone.
I’ve lost and found the same five pounds over and over again.
I’ve been quilting.
But not nearly enough writing.
My life feels like it’s in a free-fall and I don’t even know if I care enough to freak out. I wish I did. It’s the ambivalence that I’m feeling that I detest the most and yet, for all that I hate it, I can’t seem to change it. I just accept.
Accept that I feel meh about my career, my personal life, my friendships… everything.
I want to have a wild bush burning in my life. I want to burn down everything that’s not working, slam doors in people’s faces and open windows to something… more fulfilling.
I still have LOTS left on my 101 list to complete. Maybe hitting a few of those goals hard will shake things up for me, and help to purge what really needs to go and attract more of what needs to stay.
I’m NOT a morning person. Not by nature, so I don’t know why I was kidding myself about this. I decided to make the executive decision (it is my list afterall) and interpret “sunrise” to also mean “sunset” if I so chose. And choose I did.
While I was on my Grand Thailand Trip, I also visited Cambodia, Dubai, and London. Certainly there were times when I was up at the crack of dawn but not functioning at optimal photo-taking capacity.
So instead, I snapped photos of sunsets.
Watching the sun set at the beach on Koh Mok, Thailand
Watching the sun set at Angkor Wat, Siam Reap, Cambodia
The setting sun in the desert outside of Dubai, United Arab Emirates
So why was this on my 101 in 1001 Days List?
Just ’cause I thought it would be good for me to expand my horizons. I was right. It was. Travelling is an amazing tonic for my soul. The trip was amazing and I really learned so much about myself.
I practiced living in the moment. Making a point to capture the sun setting was a part of it. And living in the moment has continued to enrich my life so much and in so many ways that words fail.
I did it!
I pet an elephant AND I was kinda washed by him too.
It was a pretty amazing experience! This was at the Elephant Conservation Center in Lampang, Thailand. Just moments before this photo was snapped, I was snuggled close to my elephant friend and felt something warm and soft on my bent arm right at the elbow. I looked down and saw that my arm was being engulfed by his adorable toothless mouth. As you can see, both me and the elephant had a good smile about the whole incident.
So why was #15 on my list in the first place? The short story is that I’ve had a thing for elephants as long as I can remember. Probably since I saw parts of Disney’s Dumbo. And you know something? I’ve never seen the whole movie. There’s one part in the movie that I couldn’t bare to watch as a kid and I haven’t steeled myself to go back to it. When my mom and stepdad took me to Disney World when I was a kid, I got the stuffed Dumbo, not Mickey Mouse like most everyone else.
I don’t know. I’m just a softie when it comes to elephants and always have been. They are a pretty amazing creature with an amazing social structure and tribe mentality. The way they care for each other and the gentleness of their souls… it breaks my heart to think of how we humans are destroying their habitats across the world. We can learn so much from them too, especially the rogue elephants who have been orphaned, form gangs and go around terrorizing villages simply because they do not have ADULT elephants to guide them and provide a strong community.
When I was in high school I first started learning about the elephant’s amazing way of cultivating community and that’s when I was also first introduced to Richard Leckie’s work in Africa and his strides to save the African elephant. I remember at the time passionately telling my high school sweetheart how much I wanted to go to Africa to see the elephants and work with them.
Well, life happens and sometimes we shelve certain dreams. My destiny was not to go to Africa to work with elephants (though I wouldn’t ever shy away from the opportunity). But when it came to making this list, I knew that I wanted to make good on what I told my high school boyfriend so many years ago — I wanted to have an upclose, personal experience with an elephant and somehow contribute positively to their welfare. My desire to do that informed my decision to go to Thailand… And the rest as they say is history.
I am so glad I followed through on this wish. I have no words to articulate how much good it did for my soul.
And my first lavalife blind date, to boot.
Maybe there will be something lucky about 2008 rhyming with “date”?
I dunno. But I’ll let you know how tonight goes.
S is a graphic designer who lives in my neighborhood (!!), he’s 38 or 41, I can’t remember which, divorced dad of two kids (??)… He shares my love of music and has a really nice, deep voice (we just spoke on the phone to firm up plans to meet tonight).
So we’ll see. He says in his profile that he’s undecided about wanting kids and I know deep down that if I were to fall in love with someone, I’m definitely interested in having a child or two.
But one day at a time? Besides, I leave for Thailand on Dec. 3oth! So, there’s no time to get overwrought wondering what someone I’ve never met wants or does not want in his future and how that affects me.
(update to follow post-date)